2008 Memoirs – The Year of Major Turning Point

Family
Added an heir - birth of Eusoff Ikbar Eka on 27th March 2008 at Hospital Penawar, Pasir Gudang, Johor. Beginning of more days staying in Mutiara Rini's house to foster closer family ties.

Career
Moved slightly ahead. Works become more interesting when you are to lead and have the freedom to decide on your own action items. Was given chance to participate in 3 team buildings, and yet I only see improvements in camaraderie for a short while after the session. This is definitely not the answer to enhance team work. Pay jump? Rezeki terpijak dari Allah. Alhamdulillah.

Side Income
Progressed at slower pace. Not as hectic since everyone was on “wait and see” game. Had to push more for Dollar Cost Averaging concept.

Friends
Distinguished friends. Good friends are those around you who would stick through thick and thin. Select them wisely and they will not disappoint you in time of need. “A friend in need is a friend indeed”. They may not necessarily be your physical friends. Cyber friends are even superb.

Connections
Got evolvement in connection. Never underestimate the power of the cyber world. Tons of information is available on everything. If you think you have a problem and no where to turn to, try to “google” it and find the right community – people who are experiencing the same problem as you, or even worst. Learn from the experience of one another. The advice is free, and you can remain anonymous.

Love
Learned about the invaluable lesson in love. Ultimate love must be to Allah, not to people or things. Sounds so cliché but one lesson worth noting by going through one very strenuous experience. Thank God I could maintain my sanity and health.


Sacrifice
Experienced the true meaning of sacrifice. It is difficult to put interest of others above your own, but at certain critical time, it is paramount that you sacrifice your id, ego and superego to give way for the people that you love.

Destiny
Understood the theory of destiny. Sometimes you think that your destiny is already fixed and pre-determined – when, where, how, with who. When something hit, then only you realize that you have to work hard to make that destiny real. Never ever take things and people for granted.

Value
Learned to forgive and forget. “Belajar untuk menerima dan kemudian, melepaskan”. Easier said than done. Very challenging indeed. All that are around us, are just lent to us by Allah, can be taken anytime. Sink it deep.

Doa
Pray and always pray to complement all efforts. Don’t forget to pray whenever and wherever – in the car while driving, in the kitchen while cooking, in the office while typing, etc. Purify the heart for a better chance that the prayer be answered.

Parable of a Romantic Getaway

27th Dec. 2008 marks my 6th wedding anniversary. Since I do not know what will happen in years to come, I had planned to go someplace where both Mr. X and I had never been and off we went to discover an island and a highland. I felt that for this time, I needed it to be special time-off, just us, with no kids to mess around.

A visit to the island was also to kill one bird with a stone. My ex-boss had called me up and offered me and Mr. X to join him in his new workplace last month. I thought that the offer was quite "timely" and most welcomed, since both of us are really dying to start a new life adventure together. But a caveat there, the job offers really have better be damn worth it to make us move all the way to northern part of peninsular.

Chronicles of a passage:

25th Dec. 2008 (Thursday)

• Departed from JB at 10am. Took the PLUS expressway right through Bidor exit.
• Passed by Teluk Intan (thought to stop by the tilted Clock Tower (Pisa Tower of Malaysia) but was no where to be seen. Then found a newly opened McDonald, had lunch there).
• Arrived in Lumut at 4pm, called Mr. S who later fetched us from the car park at the Jetty Terminal and straight brought us to the new workplace. Had a tour of the place, and later to my surprise, he showed us a presentation slides which he had prepared for a customer the day before (really felt like a VIP). It was such an honor. He was hoping, I could tell, for us to join them. Well, it all depends. Finally he sent us back to the jetty to catch the 6.15 ferry to the Pangkor Island.
• Arrived in Pangkor at 7pm, checked in at Pangkor Holiday Resort.

26th Dec. 2008 (Friday)

• Decided to rent a motorbike to round discover the island. Stopped by at Pantai Teluk Nipah, saw a friendly boat operator who offered to take us to round a few nearby islands and do snorkeling at Pulau Giam.
• Mr. X really was enjoying himself snorkeling while I, had a few dips and decided that snorkeling and all water activities are just not for me. Water phobic still. Hence, I tried to catch fish at the edge of the water. The crystal clear water manifested a few types of fish and many other sea creatures.
• Went back to hotel around 2pm and continued discovery of the island later in the afternoon.
• Time to buy stuff for people - ikan kering, sotong kering, udang kering, sate ikan, etc.

27th Dec. 2008 (Saturday)

• Checked out around 9am, took the 9.45 ferry back to Lumut.
• Decided that a stop in Cameron Highland would not be such a bad idea after all. Mr. X last visited this highland when he was in standard 5 (1986), while me was back in Form 4 (1991).
• Took the Jelapang entrance and exit at Simpang Pulai. Overshot road to Ipoh, luckily a friend who happens to live there advised us to turn and find the right junction opposite Jakel. Road signages in Malaysia really need to improve. A lot!
• Swift journey up, up till we reached Kg Raja, the traffic was at bumper to bumper crawl for 2 freaking hours! Apparently the Brinchang town was a bottleneck, coupled with many tourist stops for fresh veges and souvenirs along the way. (Mr. X suggested that a station has to be created, so all buses should stop there. Then people can only go up by trucks - not a bad idea eh). Roads in Cameron are getting narrower but the number of visitors is getting larger.
• Reached Brinchang town around 6pm, tried to find hotels/motels from the most expensive to the most cheapest, none had a space for us. Tried at Tanah Rata, same story. It was already 7++pm.
• Decided to sleep in the car. This was the most exciting part of it all. The last time I slept in the car was during student days traveling around the US. Same with Mr. X. Talk about an adventure. Thanks to the MPV Odyssey, we had ample space.

28th Dec. 2008 (Sunday)

• Woke up early to pray and then catch the sunrise and most exciting, the fog creation when we exhaled. Huh...how we missed those days when it was really cool...went to Boh plantation but it was yet to open, so just snapped pix.
• Stopped by a row of stalls to get stuff for people - fresh veges and fruits.
• Stopped by another tea plantation - Cameron Valley. Managed to take pix with a few workers plucking tea leaves as background. Had a tea sipping episode overseeing the spectacular view of the tea plantation. Just nice.
• Final stop at a Strawberry Farm. Self plucking strawberries was a dream for Mr. X all along the traffic jam journey the day before. RM25 for half kg, RM40 for 1kg of self-plucked strawberries. Mr. X also couldn't resist to buy 3 cactuses for the kids, one each.
• Drove down also along the Simpang Pulai - as advised by a friend, this new hiway is much better than the Tapah road. While descending, I slowly developed a headache, and about 10 minutes to reach the flat land, I threw up. Hmmm...this is also another moment worth noting. I had never vomitted in the car for a long time due to road sickness. Apparently the journey down Cameron Highland managed to break the record.
• Stopped by at Rawang for a break, went home. Reached JB at 9pm.

View of fishermen's village along the coastal road of Pulau Pangkor. Pix taken from the ferry.

Candle light dinner at Tanah Rata (blackout la...). Waited 1 hour to be served. Mr. X said they deserve to only live on the mountains, and don't get down.

Medium tea serving. 4 cups for 2 people - one for Teh O, one for Teh Susu each.

Self-plucked strwberries. Nothing gives more contentment than the pleasure to pick and pluck to your own liking.

An adventure - yes.
A romantic getaway - maybe yes.
Repeat the whole thing - definite for me, dunno for Mr. X. But I'm sure he has fun time too.

Q:29:20 - "Travel through the earth and see how Allah did originate creation; so will Allah produce a later creation: for Allah has power over all things".

Q:30:42 - "Travel through the earth and see what was the end of those before (you): Most of them worshipped others besides Allah."

Q:16:36 - "And certainly We raised in every nation a messenger saying: Serve Allah and shun the Shaitan. So there were some of them whom Allah guided and there were others against whom error was due; therefore travel in the land, then see what was the end of the rejecters".

Sometimes...

Sometimes, we do not realize that what we have is already the best of what God has bestowed upon us.
Sometimes, we refuse to acknowledge that what we have is the best there is.
Sometimes, we wish that our loved one is someone else.
Sometimes, we wish that we could turn back time so that we can be with another person.
Sometimes, we forget the deeds of others just to satisfy our own desire.
Sometimes, we always think about someone whom we cannot be with at the expense of the one who loves us the most.
Sometimes, we question why God does not grant what we wish for.
Sometimes, we hurt the people around us without realizing.
Sometimes, we do not care about the feelings of others because our feelings are more important.
Sometimes, we refuse to accept the written fate from God because we think we know ourselves better.
Sometimes, we decline to improve things since we think it will not change anything.
Sometimes, all we care about is ourselves, at the expense of our loved ones.

For all that matter,

"Jika kamu bersyukur atas segala nikmat, akan Aku lipatgandakan nikmat ke atas mu,
Jika kamu kufur akan nikmat yang Aku berikan, ketahuilah sesungguhnya azab Aku adalah sangat berat".

Giving Back

I read in the news last week that the Deputy Higher Education Minister suggested for our local universities grads to appreciate their alma mater by giving more support. I did not read the story in detail, but for all that matters, it takes two to tango.

If the universities wish to have more support, be it in terms of financial or social support, then they must plan the program well and have it promoted and advertised widely to the alumni. I am sure that a lot of local universities alumni would like to contribute but perhaps do not know how, or simply it will be an intricate task. People are running out of time these days. If we want to give, we want it to be in the most simplest way possible.

Take for instance what my alma mater does. Almost every year, I would receive this type of letters far afield from Bloomington, Indiana, USA, asking for contribution. See how simple they have made it. Just by credit card, anywhere in the world.

To keep in touch with all alumni, sometimes I'd receive the ballot paper for polls to select the new Alumni President and committee or newsletters of what have been happening in that year at the university e.g. once someone from my college was awarded the Nobel prize. This has forced me indirectly to be in touch with the university.

I hope our universities can emulate this kind of "human touch" so that the alumni can feel more connected with their alma mater. Perhaps I should take a post grad class from a local u and compare the practice myself.

Tunaround and Transform - A Malaysian Success Story

I would really like to recommend for you to read below interview done by a management consultant firm named Mckinsey with CEO of Malaysia Airlines - Idris Jala, as published by Mckinsey Quarterly online magazine.

http://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/Turning_around_a_struggling_airline_An_interview_with_the_CEO_of_Malaysia_Airlines_2238

Idris should really write a book on his phenomenal success to turnaround and transform our national carrier. To give you a snippet of what I like:

First, when he did the turnaround process for 2 years, he told the people involve that if you don't succeed, out you go. Wonder if my company had the gut to do the same. When people are wary of the very thing that bring rice to the table of their family, then only they'll do things which they always thought is seemingly impossible, or couldn't care less about.

Second, in the transformation program, people are given new vocabulary and new responsibilities. No need to employ more staff or any foreign intervention. The strength of any transformation journey lies with the people within the organization. We just need to find ways to extract them out. In MAS, staff are put in "labs", where 10-15 people are grouped together to brainstorm with expected output called "big results fast". We try to do this here, but we are not yet successful. A lot of things we can learn from MAS's experience.

Third, Idris said the leader of any organization must cut the clearing in a very dense tropical jungle, so that people can find the pathway. Then only they can see the sky and get direct sunlight. He's talking about leader creating hope for the people. He started the believe and hope first, then only the people follow.

Fourth, he talked about divine intervention. Instead of talking about it bluntly to the management consultant who seemingly failed to acknowledge that some extra power is needed to ensure success, he delicately explained that we can only control a small portion of success, major component of it is indeed determined by "divine intervention". After all the hard work, don't forget to pray (berdoa).

Last but never the least, he acknowleged the role of his wife in this success. When he was instructed to move to MAS, he felt that he needed to conquer the fear of failure. And guess who he turned to for some calming effect? The dear wife. Well, they say that behind the success of a man, there is always a woman. And behind the failure of a man, I bet there are countless women!

That's it for now folks. I feel that lately I've not written something intellectually stimulating. Hope this one will make your head spinning for that intellectual dose.

It's Officially Over

And of His signs is this:
"He created for you mates from yourself that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, therein indeed are portents for folk who reflect". (Quran 30:21)

"When the servant of Allah marries, he has fulfilled half the responsibilities laid on him by the faith; so let him be God conscious with respect to the other half". (Mishkat)

"'The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives" (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi).

Abu Hurairah related that the Prophet Muhammad said:
“Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed” (Bukhari, Muslim).This of course, applies to women as well.

"Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity " (Quran 24:26).

Lo and behold. Last month I wrote about this tragic case of a couple under the title "It's Almost Over". And yesterday, it's officially over. The knot was finally entangled.



Somehow this man is sooo good with words. Derita = Misery. Who's misery is it? Let's see what is going to happen to him soon. Not that I pray for his doomsdays, but verily for every deed that you do, you will get your reward. Same applies otherwise.

Like I said before, couples these days normally would focus more on preparation for the Big Day that they put on hold or totally forget to equip themselves phychologically and spiritually to undertake the journey of a matrimony. One very typical example - the so called "Wedding of the Year", this is a snippet (oh, by the way, this is just a tip of the iceberg created by the media for this celeb's Big Day):

And you think by attending the Marriage Course for 16 hours in 2 days is sufficient? Let me ask you what can you remember when you attending it last time (for you who've gone thru it)? For all future couples, I'd really like to propose for you to read more books on marriage in Islam, its concept, qualities of a good husband/wife, doa-doa, etc. Examples of books are a lot in the market, like the best seller "Cakar Harimau" written by Ustazah Nor Baayah. A very good buy. Hey, tax claimable also.

Besides educating oneself on its preparation, also learn about how to manage it while you are in it, and also if you want to be out of it. Then only it is complete. Pre - during - post. Here are some instances of issues faced when the covenant reached a dead end:

Nafkah - If you divorce your wife, you not only have to pay for her expenses (nafkah) during edah (3 months solace period), but you have to pay for your kids' expenses until they can sustain themselves (when they start working). You can run, but you can't hide. Smart wives will chase you even if you squeeze yourself into the worm's pit hole.

Harta Sepencarian (Co-owned Assets) - whatever accumulated by the husband after marriage, are automatically co-owned by the wife. But whatever accumulated by the wife after marriage, the husband has to prove that he has the right to co-own the same. If you kill your wife, chances are you will find it a very grueling and ardous attempt to claim her assets.

Well, there are indeed so many lessons to learn in this covenant called "marriage". Allah has prescribed a complete guide for couples to flourish and be successful in it, it is a matter of how every single one of us wants to search for it and benefit from it.

"Sesungguhnya ada perbezaan antara orang yang berilmu dengan yang lain-lain. Allah akan mempertingkatkan orang berilmu dengan beberapa tingkatan darjat...".

Work Your B*** Out!

Yesterday lunch, I flipped Berita Harian newspaper and this particular Letter to the Editor really infuriated me. The gist of his predicament and hence, proposal is:

1. He wishes to get married, but has not enough money.
2. He plans to borrow from bank, but thought that the interest maybe high.
3. Out of nowhere, somebody must have poked his cereblum/cerebrum somewhere and voila - why not use the EPF money?
4. He writes to the newspaper to gain some support, I guess.

With quite unstable frame of mind (yeah, yesterday was really a bad day for me at work), I straight away drafted a refute letter to squash this dim-witted proposal and emailed it to the editor. It got published today, with some editing.

The quintessence of my rebuttal :

1. EPF is the only source for survival after retirement for many people, since most of us find it very difficult to save (be it for emergency, what more for retirement with rising prices of goods and services).
2. While you are still healthy and working, learn to plan your matrimony date, learn to save bit by bit and therefore, you don't have to borrow from banks. There's simply no short cut in this.
3. And above all, my mom used to say - Kalau gajah ber** besar, kancil pun nak ber** besar, nanti abislah bunt** koyak. Paham tak? Sendiri mau pikir lah bro.

I am glad that the editor publish my letter the very next day. But one thing bother me though. My 4th point was scrapped. I wrote that people who wish to get married should pay more attention and invest in themselves to prepare for life after marriage which demand commitment and of higher responsibility. What we see these days is people who're going to get married so busy preparing and thinking of The Big Day only and totally forget about preparing themselves psyhologically and spiritually for life after marriage. What a pity...