Is Change Really Necessary?

I am always pro to changes. I am a strong believer that change or "hijrah" will bring more good than bad. When I look at my past pictures, especially of those with my colleagues in office, the theory has been proven again and again.

There is Mr. I happily working in a renown company in KL, able to own a big home in Shah Alam. Doing what he loves to do.

Then I have Mr. K happily globe throtting to finish his work assignments worldwide.

Mr. A now able to own expensive cars and also enjoy pretty good life in KL.

Mr. M is now very jovial while counting his chips and had the guts to advocate me to move to KL.

Mr. K is now a permanent staff next door also enjoying himself with a more comfortable life.

Everytime I heard their latest news, I would always smile to myself, God bless them and their family. Their decision to move out and change might be among their biggest achievement in life.

 

The only constant thing in life is change. No wonder even the prophet PBUH is advocating for hijrah or change.

 

But, what refrain me from the change?

Of course, there's that dilemma called - comfort zone. Everything is just nice, no need for more headache for adjustment, new life to adapt to, new people to associate with, etc etc. But until when this can last?

 

I have thought many times to quit the company, in fact. For one, my upline in UT has always given a hint and assurance that goes something like this - "I'm sure you can go far if you do this full time". Well, sometimes I did think about it. But then again, thoughts without actions are useless. Everytime I meet that successful UT consultant in town or in UT office, she too would utter the same thing. It's an irony that these people have confidence in me when I myself is doubting it.

 

Then I try to rationalize it. I stay because I think I can do better. I can help better and they need me. Boleh tak gitu? What a bunch of crap. This crap nonetheless has kept me going and enjoying quite the same life for the past few years. To add some variety, I took up UT and in latest fashion, the great Tupperware business. Let see how far I can go. I have learnt a lot while diversifying my life. At work, I am waiting for the last moment, if there is going to be any change soon. I pray that it will. Let me play my part to help soar to a higher level, with those within my control. If it's meant to be, it will. If it's not, maybe Allah has a greater plan for me.

DC Chapter 2 - Part 3 - Darling Who?

When I was in primary school, people would try their best to pronounce my name correctly, and often ended up as  - Nordailin.

When I was in secondary school, people had started to associate the pronunciation of my name to  - Darling. And then they would giggle.

When I started work, again people had dared to straight away called me Darling.

Until now, whenever I mentioned my full name, "Oh, Darling...can easily be remembered!".

And all these associations have mostly been uttered by men.

Ladies on the other hand, would try their best to pronounce my name correctly, and often ended up I told them to call me - Lin. Easy.

 

According to Mr. Carnegie,  a name is the most sweetest and the most important sound in any language to a person.

When you meet someone new, try to remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and a very effective compliment. Seriously, I would solute people if they can try to at least pronounce my name correctly. Very few I have found throughout my existence though (very sad case...).

If you forget or misspelt a name, you're in trouble mister! You have put yourself at a sharp disadvantage. To this, I can still recall we used to have a Director whose name ended with Phin. Unfortunately, one of the clerks had written a letter for him to sign but with spelling Pin. He was damn pissed man....he marched into our office and shouted - who wrote this letter? Don't you know that a name is very important? How can you take this lightly? I guessed no one admitted. He just shouted at everyone so that everyone could remember his anger.

 

There are tips on how to remember a person's name better.

1. Repeat the name several times.
2. Try to associate it with the person's features, expressions and general appearance.

I tried this last few weeks when I met my new sister-in-law with her daughters. She has 2 daughters, 1 is Shazlin and 1 is Emma. Shazlin easy to recall as I associated it with Shalin the famous Malaysian Bowler. Emma, well, she does look a little like Raja Ema, once a famous singer. 1 son - Amal. Name is Jamaludin but was shortened to Amal. It really does work.

 

This thing needs practice.

 

When I got a letter from a bank for a settlement, I met En Mazlan, and tried to mention his names several times during our conversation. The next time I visited the bank, I called his name again. When I perpetually refer to En Mazlan, rather than Encik, which I used to do before, he was smiling all over and helped me to settle my bank matters very fast. I think it gave him the power of feeling importance. I had complimented him indirectly, he was happy, and he helped me willingly. Win-win.

 

It is indeed the sweetest sound to a person.

Beriman, Berilmu dan Beramal

I have always wanted to do some sorts of voluntary work, like to save animals from extinction, educating younger generations, or giving lectures to fellow women in troubles, etc. There are so many organizations and clubs that I can join to do this, but as the usual excuse claimed - no time. Time has somehow become such a valuable and scarce asset, that the 24 hours given a day always seems to be insufficient to accomplish many things in mind.

 

Lately, by remembering and practicing from Dale Carnegie's book, somehow it has helped to re-ignite my passion to do some kind of voluntary work. Actually I've just finished half of the book, but by practicing the principles, I can see the impact to my inner beings already (this is only me can tell laaaa). The usual mantra - from Chinese proverb - I see and I forget, I listen and I forget, I read and I forget, but when I do it, then only I learn and remember. Or something to that effect.

 

Yesterday, someone forward to me a complete graduation speech by the famous author of Harry Potter, JK Rowling to Harvard graduates in 2008. I read it in full and really enjoy it when I start to reflect on myself. I particularly like this phrase she said:

We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already.

For full text, you can visit - http://harvardmagazine.com/commencement/the-fringe-benefits-failure-the-importance-imagination

 

I didn't know what has got into me, but somehow the passion seemed unbearable. I needed to help someone, do something which I had not been able to accomplish all this while. Then I remember, when I saw my thrash basket was still full of paper scraps and some other junks. I remembered someone told me that Kak Ani the cleaning lady at my office was involved in some kind of accident. But when I heard the news 2 days ago, oh well, "Kesian". That was just it. But yestarday, this vibe and inner being somehow had just been awaken. Waaa, this was like "Awaken the Giant Within" concept practice lah pulakkk....hahaha...tetiba rasa I needed to help her. Pay her a visit...help her do things...knowing that she is a single mother of two, and some people in the office had done money collection for her during last Raya celebration to help ease her burden. I got to do something! I quickly asked for her address and phone number. I had to talk to 4 people to get the details, but I got all the information with ease. I guess if you want to do good, Allah will help you to make it easy.

 

Then I remember, that evening I got appointment with 2 of my mentees. Instead of the usual "How are you?", "How's work?", "How are you doing at work?" kind of boring talk, why not I get these guys to come along with me? Kita buat program ala-ala BersamaMu la kan...so when they asked me where to meet and what to bring, I told them, today we are going for some Lawatan Sambil Belajar. Zul was very curious, started asking how long, where to go. I kept them in suspense mood. Until in the car, I told them - "There are some things in life in which we cannot learn from books. Today is one of those lessons". I shared with them background of this lady and they were thrilled and excited. I could see their smile from one ear to another ear. Maybe Kak Lin has a reputation to be that serious lady in some corporate department. Or through our interactions before, they must have formed a conclusion that this mentor-mentee program is such a lame program by HR trying to revive the dwindling spirit of the young. Hence, the chance to ride in my Speedy Green and the chance of being chauferred by me must have never come across their mind. I was glad that we had to chance to do something different and they liked it.

 

On the way, we stopped at McDonald's, grabbed 2 Happy Meal and 1 Value Meal for her and kids. She was surprised alright. Never expected to receive visitors. Her children were equally excited, especially the 5-year old Amirul, happily sitting on Yusri's lap. He likes male visitors, as he has always been looking for a father figure, according to Kak Ani. His father just left home when he was 11 months old. What life must have been without a father? I have warned the mentee boys, it's up to you how you want to help, I never push. You want to give cash, or just advise, it's up to you. So when I saw them giving out some cash, I was very happy inside. At least that visit must have been remembered by all of us, no matter how brief.

 

Then it boils down to me, that everything is fated by Allah. I got 2 smart, handsome but most importantly, I could see that they are generous people. They have kind hearts. I am so glad that they enjoy the visit, and told me that we should do this more often. Yeah right....I still need that mentor-mentee report.

DC Chapter 2, Part 2 - Smile

Mr. Carnegie said the best way to make a good first impression is to SMILE.

1. The expression one wears on one's face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one's back.
2. Since action speaks louder than words, a smile says - "I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you".
3. People who smile tend to sell, manage, teach more effectively , and to raise much happier children.
4. Your smile can transcend. The effect is so powerful even when it is unseen. If you're on the phone, your smile will come through in your voice.
5. Action seems to follow feeling. If you're feeling good and happy, you tend to produce a much better result
6. Control your thoughts, since you are what you think.
7. Your smile is a massenger of your goodwill. 

 Cuba dengar lagu kahwin Saloma ni one more time:

 

Selamat Pengantin Baru

Selamat berbahgia

Selamat ke anak cucu

Selamat sejahtera

 

Hidup mestilah rukun

Sabar paling perlu

Cinta setiap hari

Senyum mesti selalu

Oh..oh...oh...

 

Selamat Pengantin Baru

Selamat berbahgia

Selamat ke anak cucu

Selamat sejahtera

 

Oh God, even Saloma also propagated us to smile, and I'm sure she and Mr. Carnegie meant the genuine, warming smile, not the kind of insincere, sarcastic type of smile.

When we are happy, we find it very easy to smile. But when we are not, you will find it as a very challenging task. I admire those who can hide their sadness/frustrations behind a smile. 

 

Talking about controlling your thoughts, I am also reading this book by Robin Sharma - The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, highlighting the same thing. The Shiva clan can ccontrol their heart beat just by being able to control their thoughts.  That is how powerful our mind is.

 

OK folks, let's hope there is always gonna be a rainbow after every heavy rain, thunderstorm, tsunami, typhoon, or our heat wave we're currently facing. Hence, try to always smile, also as a tip to look younger.