Aku Menjadi Mangsa

Aku menjadi mangsa malam tadi.
Memula tu terima SMS minggu lepas suruh jumpa antara Rabu atau Khamis.
Aku teragak-agak, nak pegi ke tak.
Kalau tak pegi, nanti rasa macam rugi. Dah lah tak selalu boleh jumpa. Peluang jarang2 ada.
Kalau pegi, memang gerenti aku susah nak tahan kehendak dalam diri aku nih...
Pemutusnya, aku pegi.
Memang terbukti, aku adalah seorang mangsa, antara beribu-ribu mangsa lain.
Aku telah menjadi mangsa kepada sistem kapitalis.

Bayangkan,
Dulu baju Gents ni harga RM129.90, malam tadi dah turun 70%! Aku telah angkut hampir 10 helai baju kerja utk Mr. X. Pelbagai brands lah.

Bayangkan,
Dulu baju Winnie the Pooh ni and seluar ni combined price was RM40, last nite was 50% off.
Kasut brand Treehouse for baby ni dulu harga RM79.90, semalam jugak less 70%.
Sapa boleh tahan beb....

Bayangkan,
Dulu beg Bonia ni memang aku target. Harga dia RM400++. Malam tadi 50% less. Oh...syahdu sungguh bila aku tengok dia kena ikat dan dijaga oleh seorang promoter. Aku teringin sangat nak selamatkan dia. Dan, dengan keringat berebut-rebut dan bergasak-gasak dgn pemangsa lain, aku telah berjaya menjadik sang penyelamat. Wahhhh....gumbiranya...

Ada jugak yang aku hampir2 nak amik, tapi aku kawal kehendak diri ini. Antaranya:

1. Langsir 70% off, memang sangat jarang berlaku utk brand bagus di sini.
2. Pyrex 70% off jugak. Aku dok pikir mana lagi ruang kat rumah nak letak wei.
3. Seluar brand Soda for kids. 50% off. Memang lawa n class kalau anak aku pakai.

Iskkkkk....tak tahan tapi cuba menahan diri.

Itu lah aku malam tadi. Menjadik mangsa kepada Jusco Member Day di Aeon Tebrau City.
Aku memang tak boleh pegi ke tempat2 yg namanya seakan-akan - Warehouse Sales, Stock Clearance, Member's Day, dan yg sewaktu dengannya. Aku akan begitu mudah menjadik mangsa.

Inilah antara beberapa kelemahan aku. Camne nak simpan duit pegi Egypt/Italy ni???? Aku punye target nak cover Pyramid or Leaning Tower of Pisa next. Tapi hampeh, duit dah ke Jusco nih...

X-Rated at Bay

This topic may be a little bit X-rated. For the single ones, maybe we can say PG13.
Let’s talk a little bit on perihal rumahtangga - nafkah zahir dan batin.

The word Nafkah Zahir is so easy to understand, but then again maybe not that easy to implement. In the current world where most women are working, the responsibility to provide Nafkah Zahir still lies with the husband (this is not what I say, this is a command in the Quran). Nafkah Zahir includes:

1. Shelter
2. Food
3. Clothes
4. Education (especially those related to Islamic knowledge and practice). Kalau rasa mcm kurang pengetahuan, bawak lah pegi masjid bang.
5. Security and safety – may sound a little bit like Fixed Deposits. These are actually savings or insurances or written will to safeguard the family should the husband demise unexpectedly.

Why this Nafkah Zahir has become difficult? The risk of not discussing the division of responsibility at the onset of marriage is the couple will fall into a trap of not knowing who’s supposed to cover what. Whatever taught in the Kursus Perkahwinan has been long gone. Hence, it is of paramount importance for a working wife to clearly set the scene right at the beginning of marriage. You cover this portion…I cover this portion to support you. Make it clear that whatever the wife is giving is indeed a sedekah from her. That’s not her responsibility. The husband needs to reflect from time to time whether whatever he has provided is sufficient, and the best way to get feedback is to ask the key stakeholder – the dear wife. This may sound a little bit uninspiring to some people, but heck, I have found many cases where the husbands simply forget what a marriage in Islam is. Not just the body, it comes with loads of responsibility. And you think death is the escape? Think again, you’ll be chased while you are 6 feet under and forever continue until the hereafter. Think again and again before getting married. Especially those who think they can have many families, think the deepest!

Nafkah Batin on the other hand, seldom get discussed. It’s the thing which people expect you can learn by yourself through experimenting. No one will ever tell you what to do before, during or after. If you want the most effective way, find it from books. Nobody dares to explain in detail, coz the audience may get excited unnecessarily. This nafkah connects the couple in so many ways – biologically and spiritually. How often it must be given? The Islamic researchers said at least once in 4 days. That’s why polygamists must spend their nites fairly between the wives so as to cater for this basic need. Now, in biology, how does this nafkah help:

1. It allows women to release estrogen hormones 2 times more than normal – the results are shiny hair & soft skin.
2. The perspiration while doing it will clear up pores – the results are shining skin, relief skin infection, allergies and pimples. Good eh??
3. It burns more calories than swimming 20 laps. Now that’s news. Who wants to wear that jubah swimming suit, find a secluded club for ladies and swim with our likes when we can do it on the bed at the comfort of our own house??? Or the sofa. Or the kitchen. Or the bathroom. Or anywhere you deem fit. Huhu…forget swimming.
4. It softens all joints and tendons to make you more moveable and active.
5. The releasing of endorphin while doing it smoothens blood flow.
6. It releases more pheromones to each other so you’ll become more connected. The body odour effect is remarkable.
7. It’s a natural antidote for depressant, 10x better than valium.
8. This one I also can’t believe it – while kissing, the exchanging of saliva actually cleans up any food leftovers in between the teeth (ewwwwwwwww), reduce acid level in the mouth that can cause toothache and actually can prevent plaque accumulation. Can’t believe it? Believe it!
9. It’s a headache buster – it de-stresses blood vein in the brain.
10. It can relief clogged nose – natural antihistamine for asthmatic, and those allergic to dust, etc.

Wow, it’s so much benefits just by doing it and while enjoying yourself. No stress here. Isn’t it nice?

If you want more information on this, I’ve come across a very informative website on alam rumah tangga – http://www.rahsiaperkahwinan.com/. There is tons of good information in there. Do check it out.

Howdedoo Mr. Koala

The Narrator : Whoever is chosen to be at the center of this circle of friends must tell a story.
Mr. Koala : Me, me, choose me.
The Narrator : Allrighty Mr. Koala. Please come forward and share with us your story.
Mr. Koala :
Once upon a time, there were sisters named Husna and Huda. They were very good to each other and never quarrelled for things. They shared toys together, went to school together, bla bla bla. They grew up to be very good girls and made their mother's proud. The end.

Much to the delight of the audience, they insisted for more stories.

OK, now who's next? What's the story? Scratching her head, the narrator was at the loosing end thinking of stories for other creatures on tow. Perhaps it's time to go to bed. Great clause for escape!

Confession of a Gen X

Do you know that when you are coaching someone, you are supposed to only ask questions?
It is a taboo for you to give suggestions or opinion. That's the big difference between coaching vs. counselling/mentoring/consulting/training.

On 17th-19th Feb. 2009 I attended this course which I regard as an eye opener in developing people and preparing to be a better leader. As a coach, we are supposed to ask questions in a structured manner so the coachee will reveal his problem and find the solutions himself. The coach will only help to uncover the solution, which all the while already exist inside the coachee. Apply the questions in this manner (GROW model):

G = Goals (what the person wishes to accomplish)
R = Reality (what's actually happening)
O = Options (what the person thinks can be done, the benefits/pitfalls)
W = Will Do/Way Forward (what the person will do right after the coaching session).

I've found this method to be very useful in uncovering people's mind and unlocking their potential, and not to mention, relief yourself from trying to solve other person's problem. Use this technique to save yourself a lot of headache.

We have to consider a few factors to make the coaching session more effective, e.g. the person's personality according to the DISC model:

• D = Directive (those who like to be in control and do things fast, like yours truly) - make the coaching session quick and effective.
• I = Interactive (those chatters who love to talk all day and nites) - invite them to tell stories, prepare to spend longer time.
• S = Stable (those friendly people who put feelings as priority - always bring them back to the topic on hand, if not you'll get drifted in their story mory.
• C = Conformist (those who love to focus on details and "Saya yang menurut perintah" type) - perhaps throw them a few challenges and see how their minds work.

Most interestingly, we learn about the generations gap.
If you're born from 1945-1960 = you're called Baby Boomers
1961 - 1975 = Generation X
1975 onwards = Generation Y

Surprisingly, in Malaysia the demographic study shows that Malaysians consist of:
21% - Baby Boomers
20% = Generation X
59% = Generation Y

As a Gen X, I've always felt left out, at least in the corporate world. Those baby boomers are mostly in higher positions, have retired or preparing themselves to retire. Those Gen Y are the newcomers who always cry for attention and the company is focusing on their baby needs. What happened to the Gen X who are sandwiched in between? We are always neglected, brushed aside when any opportunity arise and the results - majority have left the company. This emotional discovery is infact universal, as revealed by an expert whose study was published in Harvard's publication and her video was shown to us during the course.

Our world is full of Gen Y people, products of Baby Boomers. They are characterized as information savvy, don't like rules, more global thinking and only focus on NOW. The word "future" doesn't ring a bell. These Gen Y has certainly affected the world in how we operate our business. One thing for sure, they will jump 4 companies in a year just to find that dream job. Is there such thing as a dream job?

I can only view them as people who matured later than the Gen X. They will always feel free to do things since they know their baby boomer parents will always be behind their back. Not for us the Gen X. We are totally independent. If you're not working, find your own shelter. Fat chance that your parents will open their arms and welcome you home. At least that's how I feel about this generation gap.

Now how do we coach the Gen Y? Perhaps I should try the method of all American talk show - The Oprah Winfrey Show, Tyra Banks, Ellen Degeneras, etc - and for the stubborn ones - use Geraldo /Jerry method. Chairs and tables are tools to be used to prove your point (memang ganas, but at least point taken).

It's interesting to note the definite challenge due to generational gap. Perhaps one day I will try and report the results here.

In the Pipeline

I have a few topics on the row which I like to write about.Let me see, I plan to write about:
1. Coaching skills - how to strangle the Gen Y.
2. Army of Puppets - how to be creative in imaginative battles between creatures?
3. Simple food - to cook or not is no longer a question.
4. Palestine Cry for our help - every bit counts.
5. That career move.

But, I have to settle a few things before that. This office is undergoing renovation and it has given me a **** of a ride. To blog at home? Forget it.

Brad's V Day

How did you celebrate your Valentine's Day?
1. It is HARAM to celebrate the day - fact.
2. It has been overly commercialized - square statement (from a single friend, Brad Pitt fanatic).
3. Everyday is Valentine's Day for us - sounds so cliche (from a married friend, traveling the world every year thanks to her pilot hubby).

Did you celebrate or did you not celebrate your most loved one? If it's not on the day, when do you exactly most rejoice the moment you share together? I can't help it but to be in that mood when February comes. Not necessarily on that day. Now, how did I celebrate it?

Since late January, after which the nomination for Academy Award was out, I've been curious enough to see Brad Pitt in his latest movie. For that, on Monday last week, I'd asked Mr. X to go with me and see Mr. Pitt's latest act which he got nominated for Best Actor on the immediate Saturday. I didn't realize that it happened to fall on 14th Feb. It was a pure coincident. It was a working Saturday for us. Normally once in 3-4 months, we'd go to see the movie as a couple on a working Saturday.

Then it happened as planned. We got the 4.20pm show for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (www.benjaminbutton.com). It was quite good performance by Brad. I would give him 4 out of 5 for his act. I think he acted better in the Legends of the Fall. For the story itself, it was a fantasy allright. But as usual, no matter how silly a Hollywood movie is, there would always be some hidden messages. I guess the key message for this movie is:
Cherish the person whom you love the most while you still have the time for it.
Brad is ageless! His fanatic fans can become fanatics forever and ever. Being 45, he is certainly still a hunk to be craved for by millions of women on this planet!!!!

Ok, where was I? Oh ok, it's about enjoying and rejoicing your loved one always. Never take your loved one for granted. True love will last forever, regardless of looks, age and financial status. You think you already have that someone? Or have you become that someone?

Will You Marry Me?

Once, a gentleman wanted to be creative in proposing to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day. He worked out a plan to have a special dinner and had arranged extensively with the restaurant manager to make a big surprise to the girlfriend. On top of everything nice and special, the peak of the event would be the dessert served. He asked for the restaurant people to send the dessert on a plate with chocolate handwriting deco "Will You Marry Me?". Aww...so nice...that was the plan.

Valentine's Day came and they had that special dinner. Then came the moment for the dessert to be served. The man was anxious. Finally, the waiter came out from the kitchen's door and brought over the dessert to their table. Imagine the surprise felt by the girlfriend. Upon seeing the plate, she stood up and hurried over to the kitchen. She hollered "I'm so touched and excited. Now please tell me who's the waiter that sent this over to me?".

Get the joke?