Confession of a Gen X

Do you know that when you are coaching someone, you are supposed to only ask questions?
It is a taboo for you to give suggestions or opinion. That's the big difference between coaching vs. counselling/mentoring/consulting/training.

On 17th-19th Feb. 2009 I attended this course which I regard as an eye opener in developing people and preparing to be a better leader. As a coach, we are supposed to ask questions in a structured manner so the coachee will reveal his problem and find the solutions himself. The coach will only help to uncover the solution, which all the while already exist inside the coachee. Apply the questions in this manner (GROW model):

G = Goals (what the person wishes to accomplish)
R = Reality (what's actually happening)
O = Options (what the person thinks can be done, the benefits/pitfalls)
W = Will Do/Way Forward (what the person will do right after the coaching session).

I've found this method to be very useful in uncovering people's mind and unlocking their potential, and not to mention, relief yourself from trying to solve other person's problem. Use this technique to save yourself a lot of headache.

We have to consider a few factors to make the coaching session more effective, e.g. the person's personality according to the DISC model:

• D = Directive (those who like to be in control and do things fast, like yours truly) - make the coaching session quick and effective.
• I = Interactive (those chatters who love to talk all day and nites) - invite them to tell stories, prepare to spend longer time.
• S = Stable (those friendly people who put feelings as priority - always bring them back to the topic on hand, if not you'll get drifted in their story mory.
• C = Conformist (those who love to focus on details and "Saya yang menurut perintah" type) - perhaps throw them a few challenges and see how their minds work.

Most interestingly, we learn about the generations gap.
If you're born from 1945-1960 = you're called Baby Boomers
1961 - 1975 = Generation X
1975 onwards = Generation Y

Surprisingly, in Malaysia the demographic study shows that Malaysians consist of:
21% - Baby Boomers
20% = Generation X
59% = Generation Y

As a Gen X, I've always felt left out, at least in the corporate world. Those baby boomers are mostly in higher positions, have retired or preparing themselves to retire. Those Gen Y are the newcomers who always cry for attention and the company is focusing on their baby needs. What happened to the Gen X who are sandwiched in between? We are always neglected, brushed aside when any opportunity arise and the results - majority have left the company. This emotional discovery is infact universal, as revealed by an expert whose study was published in Harvard's publication and her video was shown to us during the course.

Our world is full of Gen Y people, products of Baby Boomers. They are characterized as information savvy, don't like rules, more global thinking and only focus on NOW. The word "future" doesn't ring a bell. These Gen Y has certainly affected the world in how we operate our business. One thing for sure, they will jump 4 companies in a year just to find that dream job. Is there such thing as a dream job?

I can only view them as people who matured later than the Gen X. They will always feel free to do things since they know their baby boomer parents will always be behind their back. Not for us the Gen X. We are totally independent. If you're not working, find your own shelter. Fat chance that your parents will open their arms and welcome you home. At least that's how I feel about this generation gap.

Now how do we coach the Gen Y? Perhaps I should try the method of all American talk show - The Oprah Winfrey Show, Tyra Banks, Ellen Degeneras, etc - and for the stubborn ones - use Geraldo /Jerry method. Chairs and tables are tools to be used to prove your point (memang ganas, but at least point taken).

It's interesting to note the definite challenge due to generational gap. Perhaps one day I will try and report the results here.