X-Rated at Bay

This topic may be a little bit X-rated. For the single ones, maybe we can say PG13.
Let’s talk a little bit on perihal rumahtangga - nafkah zahir dan batin.

The word Nafkah Zahir is so easy to understand, but then again maybe not that easy to implement. In the current world where most women are working, the responsibility to provide Nafkah Zahir still lies with the husband (this is not what I say, this is a command in the Quran). Nafkah Zahir includes:

1. Shelter
2. Food
3. Clothes
4. Education (especially those related to Islamic knowledge and practice). Kalau rasa mcm kurang pengetahuan, bawak lah pegi masjid bang.
5. Security and safety – may sound a little bit like Fixed Deposits. These are actually savings or insurances or written will to safeguard the family should the husband demise unexpectedly.

Why this Nafkah Zahir has become difficult? The risk of not discussing the division of responsibility at the onset of marriage is the couple will fall into a trap of not knowing who’s supposed to cover what. Whatever taught in the Kursus Perkahwinan has been long gone. Hence, it is of paramount importance for a working wife to clearly set the scene right at the beginning of marriage. You cover this portion…I cover this portion to support you. Make it clear that whatever the wife is giving is indeed a sedekah from her. That’s not her responsibility. The husband needs to reflect from time to time whether whatever he has provided is sufficient, and the best way to get feedback is to ask the key stakeholder – the dear wife. This may sound a little bit uninspiring to some people, but heck, I have found many cases where the husbands simply forget what a marriage in Islam is. Not just the body, it comes with loads of responsibility. And you think death is the escape? Think again, you’ll be chased while you are 6 feet under and forever continue until the hereafter. Think again and again before getting married. Especially those who think they can have many families, think the deepest!

Nafkah Batin on the other hand, seldom get discussed. It’s the thing which people expect you can learn by yourself through experimenting. No one will ever tell you what to do before, during or after. If you want the most effective way, find it from books. Nobody dares to explain in detail, coz the audience may get excited unnecessarily. This nafkah connects the couple in so many ways – biologically and spiritually. How often it must be given? The Islamic researchers said at least once in 4 days. That’s why polygamists must spend their nites fairly between the wives so as to cater for this basic need. Now, in biology, how does this nafkah help:

1. It allows women to release estrogen hormones 2 times more than normal – the results are shiny hair & soft skin.
2. The perspiration while doing it will clear up pores – the results are shining skin, relief skin infection, allergies and pimples. Good eh??
3. It burns more calories than swimming 20 laps. Now that’s news. Who wants to wear that jubah swimming suit, find a secluded club for ladies and swim with our likes when we can do it on the bed at the comfort of our own house??? Or the sofa. Or the kitchen. Or the bathroom. Or anywhere you deem fit. Huhu…forget swimming.
4. It softens all joints and tendons to make you more moveable and active.
5. The releasing of endorphin while doing it smoothens blood flow.
6. It releases more pheromones to each other so you’ll become more connected. The body odour effect is remarkable.
7. It’s a natural antidote for depressant, 10x better than valium.
8. This one I also can’t believe it – while kissing, the exchanging of saliva actually cleans up any food leftovers in between the teeth (ewwwwwwwww), reduce acid level in the mouth that can cause toothache and actually can prevent plaque accumulation. Can’t believe it? Believe it!
9. It’s a headache buster – it de-stresses blood vein in the brain.
10. It can relief clogged nose – natural antihistamine for asthmatic, and those allergic to dust, etc.

Wow, it’s so much benefits just by doing it and while enjoying yourself. No stress here. Isn’t it nice?

If you want more information on this, I’ve come across a very informative website on alam rumah tangga – http://www.rahsiaperkahwinan.com/. There is tons of good information in there. Do check it out.