A Different Ramadhan

This year Ramadhan brings some kind of a different feeling. If my late sister-in-law were to know that last year's Ramadhan would have been her last Ramadhan, certainly she would do things differently. Then when I reflect on myself, if this is to be my last Ramadhan, what are the different actions I need to take, what if? No one has the answer. That's why Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. said that a smart person is the one who always remember that death is very near, anytime. Very near indeed.

That is why also there are verses in the Quran which says that humankind would ask to go back to the world to do good deeds, after their death, to which Allah says - Nay, it'll never happen. Sometimes I have to keep myself reminded that on daily basis, what if this is my last day? What would I be leaving behind? One thing for sure, settle all the debts as fast as possible. That reminds me I still owe JPA some RM18k more to go, that's like half way through only. Then you have to forgive and forget. Keep your heart clean, do not keep any intention to pose revenge on anybody, that'll only make your heart bitter and absorb your internal strengths slowly. Lastly, be good to people closest to you. Your spouse, children, parents, parents-in-law, family members, neighbours, colleagues, staff, bosses, and strangers. If you cannot touch everyone's life, at least make a difference to someone. He/she may mean nothing to you, but you maybe the world to that someone.

Yesterday I went onboard VLCC Idemitsu Maru. I vowed to enter the tank where there was an incident, but the moment I stepped one foot, I felt some kind of aura....hoho...this is not good....seram sejuk tetiba makcik....it was a 30 feet tall tank, for storage of crude on voyage. The smell was just killing me. When I saw all those people working inside the tank, my goodness, thanks to Allah we are born in Malaysia, having this great wealth and opportunity to work while improving our health and lifestyle. The tank was deep, dark, smelly, and you have to do works inside there - I just cannot imagine. That's why only foreign workers want to go there. They have to do it since they have no choice. Either struggle to make up a living in this condition, or go back home and suffer. Poor those workers. It just made me feel that English language should invent a better word for "gratitude". Alhamdulillah version in English, anyone?

Today marks Husna's first attempt to fast, she's 6 this year, it is high time already. I woke her up at 5.ooam just now, at first she was saying "Ngantuklah...", then I tried to pacify her. "Look, tomorrow you cannot eat and drink during the day, so you better eat something now". Even from last night, she kept on complaining that "kalau tak makan, nanti boleh mati". Then I told her Ayah and Mama tak mati pon....I also told her that she cannot get angry at people, and to speak less words. She still wonders how it would feel like not being able to eat and drink. Well, she did ask whether she can drink only, sorry girl....try nak uji pulakkk...yg puasa boleh minum jer tu kalau tak silap agama hindu saja. Kalau tak silap la.

Hence, for this year Ramadhan, may Allah grant His blessings to all of us. AMIN.