Aku Menjadi Mangsa

Aku menjadi mangsa malam tadi.
Memula tu terima SMS minggu lepas suruh jumpa antara Rabu atau Khamis.
Aku teragak-agak, nak pegi ke tak.
Kalau tak pegi, nanti rasa macam rugi. Dah lah tak selalu boleh jumpa. Peluang jarang2 ada.
Kalau pegi, memang gerenti aku susah nak tahan kehendak dalam diri aku nih...
Pemutusnya, aku pegi.
Memang terbukti, aku adalah seorang mangsa, antara beribu-ribu mangsa lain.
Aku telah menjadi mangsa kepada sistem kapitalis.

Bayangkan,
Dulu baju Gents ni harga RM129.90, malam tadi dah turun 70%! Aku telah angkut hampir 10 helai baju kerja utk Mr. X. Pelbagai brands lah.

Bayangkan,
Dulu baju Winnie the Pooh ni and seluar ni combined price was RM40, last nite was 50% off.
Kasut brand Treehouse for baby ni dulu harga RM79.90, semalam jugak less 70%.
Sapa boleh tahan beb....

Bayangkan,
Dulu beg Bonia ni memang aku target. Harga dia RM400++. Malam tadi 50% less. Oh...syahdu sungguh bila aku tengok dia kena ikat dan dijaga oleh seorang promoter. Aku teringin sangat nak selamatkan dia. Dan, dengan keringat berebut-rebut dan bergasak-gasak dgn pemangsa lain, aku telah berjaya menjadik sang penyelamat. Wahhhh....gumbiranya...

Ada jugak yang aku hampir2 nak amik, tapi aku kawal kehendak diri ini. Antaranya:

1. Langsir 70% off, memang sangat jarang berlaku utk brand bagus di sini.
2. Pyrex 70% off jugak. Aku dok pikir mana lagi ruang kat rumah nak letak wei.
3. Seluar brand Soda for kids. 50% off. Memang lawa n class kalau anak aku pakai.

Iskkkkk....tak tahan tapi cuba menahan diri.

Itu lah aku malam tadi. Menjadik mangsa kepada Jusco Member Day di Aeon Tebrau City.
Aku memang tak boleh pegi ke tempat2 yg namanya seakan-akan - Warehouse Sales, Stock Clearance, Member's Day, dan yg sewaktu dengannya. Aku akan begitu mudah menjadik mangsa.

Inilah antara beberapa kelemahan aku. Camne nak simpan duit pegi Egypt/Italy ni???? Aku punye target nak cover Pyramid or Leaning Tower of Pisa next. Tapi hampeh, duit dah ke Jusco nih...

X-Rated at Bay

This topic may be a little bit X-rated. For the single ones, maybe we can say PG13.
Let’s talk a little bit on perihal rumahtangga - nafkah zahir dan batin.

The word Nafkah Zahir is so easy to understand, but then again maybe not that easy to implement. In the current world where most women are working, the responsibility to provide Nafkah Zahir still lies with the husband (this is not what I say, this is a command in the Quran). Nafkah Zahir includes:

1. Shelter
2. Food
3. Clothes
4. Education (especially those related to Islamic knowledge and practice). Kalau rasa mcm kurang pengetahuan, bawak lah pegi masjid bang.
5. Security and safety – may sound a little bit like Fixed Deposits. These are actually savings or insurances or written will to safeguard the family should the husband demise unexpectedly.

Why this Nafkah Zahir has become difficult? The risk of not discussing the division of responsibility at the onset of marriage is the couple will fall into a trap of not knowing who’s supposed to cover what. Whatever taught in the Kursus Perkahwinan has been long gone. Hence, it is of paramount importance for a working wife to clearly set the scene right at the beginning of marriage. You cover this portion…I cover this portion to support you. Make it clear that whatever the wife is giving is indeed a sedekah from her. That’s not her responsibility. The husband needs to reflect from time to time whether whatever he has provided is sufficient, and the best way to get feedback is to ask the key stakeholder – the dear wife. This may sound a little bit uninspiring to some people, but heck, I have found many cases where the husbands simply forget what a marriage in Islam is. Not just the body, it comes with loads of responsibility. And you think death is the escape? Think again, you’ll be chased while you are 6 feet under and forever continue until the hereafter. Think again and again before getting married. Especially those who think they can have many families, think the deepest!

Nafkah Batin on the other hand, seldom get discussed. It’s the thing which people expect you can learn by yourself through experimenting. No one will ever tell you what to do before, during or after. If you want the most effective way, find it from books. Nobody dares to explain in detail, coz the audience may get excited unnecessarily. This nafkah connects the couple in so many ways – biologically and spiritually. How often it must be given? The Islamic researchers said at least once in 4 days. That’s why polygamists must spend their nites fairly between the wives so as to cater for this basic need. Now, in biology, how does this nafkah help:

1. It allows women to release estrogen hormones 2 times more than normal – the results are shiny hair & soft skin.
2. The perspiration while doing it will clear up pores – the results are shining skin, relief skin infection, allergies and pimples. Good eh??
3. It burns more calories than swimming 20 laps. Now that’s news. Who wants to wear that jubah swimming suit, find a secluded club for ladies and swim with our likes when we can do it on the bed at the comfort of our own house??? Or the sofa. Or the kitchen. Or the bathroom. Or anywhere you deem fit. Huhu…forget swimming.
4. It softens all joints and tendons to make you more moveable and active.
5. The releasing of endorphin while doing it smoothens blood flow.
6. It releases more pheromones to each other so you’ll become more connected. The body odour effect is remarkable.
7. It’s a natural antidote for depressant, 10x better than valium.
8. This one I also can’t believe it – while kissing, the exchanging of saliva actually cleans up any food leftovers in between the teeth (ewwwwwwwww), reduce acid level in the mouth that can cause toothache and actually can prevent plaque accumulation. Can’t believe it? Believe it!
9. It’s a headache buster – it de-stresses blood vein in the brain.
10. It can relief clogged nose – natural antihistamine for asthmatic, and those allergic to dust, etc.

Wow, it’s so much benefits just by doing it and while enjoying yourself. No stress here. Isn’t it nice?

If you want more information on this, I’ve come across a very informative website on alam rumah tangga – http://www.rahsiaperkahwinan.com/. There is tons of good information in there. Do check it out.

Howdedoo Mr. Koala

The Narrator : Whoever is chosen to be at the center of this circle of friends must tell a story.
Mr. Koala : Me, me, choose me.
The Narrator : Allrighty Mr. Koala. Please come forward and share with us your story.
Mr. Koala :
Once upon a time, there were sisters named Husna and Huda. They were very good to each other and never quarrelled for things. They shared toys together, went to school together, bla bla bla. They grew up to be very good girls and made their mother's proud. The end.

Much to the delight of the audience, they insisted for more stories.

OK, now who's next? What's the story? Scratching her head, the narrator was at the loosing end thinking of stories for other creatures on tow. Perhaps it's time to go to bed. Great clause for escape!

Confession of a Gen X

Do you know that when you are coaching someone, you are supposed to only ask questions?
It is a taboo for you to give suggestions or opinion. That's the big difference between coaching vs. counselling/mentoring/consulting/training.

On 17th-19th Feb. 2009 I attended this course which I regard as an eye opener in developing people and preparing to be a better leader. As a coach, we are supposed to ask questions in a structured manner so the coachee will reveal his problem and find the solutions himself. The coach will only help to uncover the solution, which all the while already exist inside the coachee. Apply the questions in this manner (GROW model):

G = Goals (what the person wishes to accomplish)
R = Reality (what's actually happening)
O = Options (what the person thinks can be done, the benefits/pitfalls)
W = Will Do/Way Forward (what the person will do right after the coaching session).

I've found this method to be very useful in uncovering people's mind and unlocking their potential, and not to mention, relief yourself from trying to solve other person's problem. Use this technique to save yourself a lot of headache.

We have to consider a few factors to make the coaching session more effective, e.g. the person's personality according to the DISC model:

• D = Directive (those who like to be in control and do things fast, like yours truly) - make the coaching session quick and effective.
• I = Interactive (those chatters who love to talk all day and nites) - invite them to tell stories, prepare to spend longer time.
• S = Stable (those friendly people who put feelings as priority - always bring them back to the topic on hand, if not you'll get drifted in their story mory.
• C = Conformist (those who love to focus on details and "Saya yang menurut perintah" type) - perhaps throw them a few challenges and see how their minds work.

Most interestingly, we learn about the generations gap.
If you're born from 1945-1960 = you're called Baby Boomers
1961 - 1975 = Generation X
1975 onwards = Generation Y

Surprisingly, in Malaysia the demographic study shows that Malaysians consist of:
21% - Baby Boomers
20% = Generation X
59% = Generation Y

As a Gen X, I've always felt left out, at least in the corporate world. Those baby boomers are mostly in higher positions, have retired or preparing themselves to retire. Those Gen Y are the newcomers who always cry for attention and the company is focusing on their baby needs. What happened to the Gen X who are sandwiched in between? We are always neglected, brushed aside when any opportunity arise and the results - majority have left the company. This emotional discovery is infact universal, as revealed by an expert whose study was published in Harvard's publication and her video was shown to us during the course.

Our world is full of Gen Y people, products of Baby Boomers. They are characterized as information savvy, don't like rules, more global thinking and only focus on NOW. The word "future" doesn't ring a bell. These Gen Y has certainly affected the world in how we operate our business. One thing for sure, they will jump 4 companies in a year just to find that dream job. Is there such thing as a dream job?

I can only view them as people who matured later than the Gen X. They will always feel free to do things since they know their baby boomer parents will always be behind their back. Not for us the Gen X. We are totally independent. If you're not working, find your own shelter. Fat chance that your parents will open their arms and welcome you home. At least that's how I feel about this generation gap.

Now how do we coach the Gen Y? Perhaps I should try the method of all American talk show - The Oprah Winfrey Show, Tyra Banks, Ellen Degeneras, etc - and for the stubborn ones - use Geraldo /Jerry method. Chairs and tables are tools to be used to prove your point (memang ganas, but at least point taken).

It's interesting to note the definite challenge due to generational gap. Perhaps one day I will try and report the results here.

In the Pipeline

I have a few topics on the row which I like to write about.Let me see, I plan to write about:
1. Coaching skills - how to strangle the Gen Y.
2. Army of Puppets - how to be creative in imaginative battles between creatures?
3. Simple food - to cook or not is no longer a question.
4. Palestine Cry for our help - every bit counts.
5. That career move.

But, I have to settle a few things before that. This office is undergoing renovation and it has given me a **** of a ride. To blog at home? Forget it.

Brad's V Day

How did you celebrate your Valentine's Day?
1. It is HARAM to celebrate the day - fact.
2. It has been overly commercialized - square statement (from a single friend, Brad Pitt fanatic).
3. Everyday is Valentine's Day for us - sounds so cliche (from a married friend, traveling the world every year thanks to her pilot hubby).

Did you celebrate or did you not celebrate your most loved one? If it's not on the day, when do you exactly most rejoice the moment you share together? I can't help it but to be in that mood when February comes. Not necessarily on that day. Now, how did I celebrate it?

Since late January, after which the nomination for Academy Award was out, I've been curious enough to see Brad Pitt in his latest movie. For that, on Monday last week, I'd asked Mr. X to go with me and see Mr. Pitt's latest act which he got nominated for Best Actor on the immediate Saturday. I didn't realize that it happened to fall on 14th Feb. It was a pure coincident. It was a working Saturday for us. Normally once in 3-4 months, we'd go to see the movie as a couple on a working Saturday.

Then it happened as planned. We got the 4.20pm show for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (www.benjaminbutton.com). It was quite good performance by Brad. I would give him 4 out of 5 for his act. I think he acted better in the Legends of the Fall. For the story itself, it was a fantasy allright. But as usual, no matter how silly a Hollywood movie is, there would always be some hidden messages. I guess the key message for this movie is:
Cherish the person whom you love the most while you still have the time for it.
Brad is ageless! His fanatic fans can become fanatics forever and ever. Being 45, he is certainly still a hunk to be craved for by millions of women on this planet!!!!

Ok, where was I? Oh ok, it's about enjoying and rejoicing your loved one always. Never take your loved one for granted. True love will last forever, regardless of looks, age and financial status. You think you already have that someone? Or have you become that someone?

Will You Marry Me?

Once, a gentleman wanted to be creative in proposing to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day. He worked out a plan to have a special dinner and had arranged extensively with the restaurant manager to make a big surprise to the girlfriend. On top of everything nice and special, the peak of the event would be the dessert served. He asked for the restaurant people to send the dessert on a plate with chocolate handwriting deco "Will You Marry Me?". Aww...so nice...that was the plan.

Valentine's Day came and they had that special dinner. Then came the moment for the dessert to be served. The man was anxious. Finally, the waiter came out from the kitchen's door and brought over the dessert to their table. Imagine the surprise felt by the girlfriend. Upon seeing the plate, she stood up and hurried over to the kitchen. She hollered "I'm so touched and excited. Now please tell me who's the waiter that sent this over to me?".

Get the joke?

That Tall Guy

When I was in school, I never had any real boyfriend. Form 1 to 3 was in all girls boarding school. What we had was adik angkat and kakak angkat stuff. If you look a little bit boyish or have that tomboy look, you gonna have tonnes of requests to be your adik angkat/kakak angkat. Most pethetic of all, kakak angkat and adik angkat would have "dates" - normally talking la, no stupid stuff... - the nite before the school semester ended. Memang kelakar.

When I went to Form 4, hey ya, welcome to the wonderful world of mixed school. The ratio was 1 girl to 3 boys. Heaven! But being a religious school, girls and boys are not allowed to freely mingle with each other. I did have a crush on a few boys, but I reserved the feelings. Then I realize one thing. They were all tall. I bet no boys had ever likened me since I was dead fanatic about soccer especially in supporting my beloved state team - Johor (ini zaman Abbas Saad and Alistair Edwards la..). Most boys came from Selangor and we did a few times had some "fights" about who would win the next match. I was also not that pretty (as if...haha). I think I belong to that "girl next door" type. Hahaha...now dah lain lah...hahaha..ini kes masuk bakul sendiri angkat. Anyway, back to the topic on guys. No real boyfriend either at this high school. I'm glad to hook up again with some of these guys thru Facebook.

When I attended PPP/ITM, there were more boys and chances for coupling was damn huge and uncontrollable. But which type caught my eyes the most - the tall ones. Once, in a kelas agama, the ustazah asked a question to the girls:

Ustazah: Lelaki macam mana yang awak impikan?
Girl 1 : Yang bertanggungjawab, penyayang, gentleman.
Girl 2 : Yang beragama, bla bla bla all that stuff that was like DUHHHH.
I did not give a respond until the ustazah directed her look at me and demanded my answer.
Me (while looking innocent and giving my pure perempuan Melayu terakhir type of look): Yang tinggi.
The whole class broke into a big laughter, especially the guys. I seriously didn't know what's so funny about my answer. Salah ke suka kat lelaki yg tinggi? Until this day I'm still wondering. Maybe they never expected that such criterium would be put as a priority in finding a man.

To cut the story short, I met Mr. X and he is dead TALL. This will need another entry.

Blog Trivia

Besides Facebook, of course I enjoy writing for my blog and read blog of others. Blogging has become a connection of the new age. From linking one blog to another, I stumbled across this blog which I really really like. Here to you Zetty - I've linked her blog to mine today.

Zetty has a great sense of humor and I really like the way she describes things. Cerita pasal tikus pun jadik sungguh menarik. I may not know her, but I surely enjoy to note her life's trials and tribulations. Fat people have feelings too. Learn to express your feelings when you are totally into that someone hot. Some of the topics which she has written. The thing that makes me jealous the most was she started hers way back in 2003. That's way too far off from when I started blogging.

But then again, better late than never. Thanks to you bro, Akmal Hizam, I've learned the wonderful world of blogging.

Nampak Macam Happy

Hari ni di pantry office ada orang tanya kat aku.

Someone: Apa rahsia you look happy walaupun kerja banyak ye?

Dalam hati aku berkata : Aku layan Facebook sambil kerja kalau aku tension. Ataupun chat dgn org kat gmail (Akmal selalu jadik mangsa). Tapi sekarang gmail problem connection selalu sgt pulak…so, Facebook la..

Tapi mulut aku berkata sambil tersenyum: Jangan lah serius sangat hal kerja. Memang la kerja tu serius, tapi jgn sampai tension.

Someone: I selalu take things seriously. Sampai sakit dada and kepala pikirkan hal kerja.

Dalam hati aku berkata : Ko tak tahu, aku pernah menangis hal kerja pun ada. Ada lah 2-3 occasions. Tapi lepas tu aku menyesal. Buat buang air mata jer. Baik aku menangis ketika tahajjud.

Tapi mulut aku berkata sambil tersenyum: Jgn lah sampai tahap tu. Sakit nanti susah

Rupanya ada orang nampak aku ni happy go lucky je masa kerja. Gerenti dia tak pernah masuk meeting yg aku chair then ada org mencabar aku tanpa asas kat meeting tu. Berangin satu badan dan berasap satu kepala. Cuma takde adegan tumbuk meja jer (giler ganas...). Head sebelum aku pernah baling botol air mineral ke papan projector tu menghadapi kerenah orang2 nih. Tapi aku sudah belajar satu mende. Untuk menerima dan kemudian, melepaskan. Untuk capai tahap ni, kena lalui beberapa ujian mental dan spiritual. Kalau orang tak nak terima perubahan, aku biarkan. Dah penat buat selling-buying ideas ni la wei…kau nak terima – kau buat. Kau tak nak terima – tak payah buat. Habis cerita. Aku dah penat bawak beban ni lah. As long as aku jalankan tanggungjawab dan amanah yg diberi, the rest is up to you.

Layan facebook kalau tension - guaranteed a pressure buster.

Oh Bama Oh Obama

Poor Mr. President. 3 weeks into office and his first challenge to recover the economy by trying to induce USD800b stimulus package has encountered tremendous amount of pressure. It is a huge dilemma. USD800b is a huge amount of money. Just imagine our RM1 million. Is already a lot in our terms. What more USD1 million. Here we are talking about USD800 billion. How many generations needed to recover that huge amount of money?

Why people reject the idea to induce the huge sum? Imagine this. When the economy is doing fine and dandy, who benefits the most? If a bank makes a profit, the profit is shared only among the shareholders. The depositors make peanuts. We make peanuts in general via the negligible interest. But what happens when a bank is on the brink of bankruptcy and need a savior? The government offers to save it by using the public's money (that's our money if you forget). See, when they are OK, they make the rich become richer. But when they are in trouble, we have to rescue them. That's why when Malaysian government saved our banks way back in 1997, there was big criticism from the western world. But hey, look what's happening to them now? Who's rescuing Citibank, Bank of America, GM, Chrysler, Ford, etc etc?

Obama is facing such a mounting task to bring the economy back thanks to his **** predecessor who was obsessed with WMD (weapon of mass destruction) and who was afraid most of the AOE (axis of evil). If he continues to disburse the money, he will be seen as using the public's money to save the rich people. But if he doesn't fork out the stimulus, the economy will further slump. This is a real humongous dilemma.

To think about this is so much better than to take a peek at the Malaysian political scene. Sungguh memualkan.

Aummmmmmmm - The Final Roar

Surat cinta terakhir dari Bank Rimau.

Brainy Brain

Use your brain and it will grow - it really will. Message from neuropsychologist Ian Robertson, professor of psychology at Trinity College, Dublin and founding director of the university's Institute of Neuroscience. How??????

Stimulate it always, with below tips:

1. Do puzzles, sudoku, number games, etc games which enhance visual-spatial ability.
2. Keep physically fit. Exercises causes the brain to produce a kind of fertilizer that helps build a new brain connection.
3. Keep up your social life. Mix with different types of people.
4. Learn new things - to generate more brain cells.
5. Try to avoid prolonged and severe stress - can affect neuro-transmitters and may impact its functions.
6. Eat food that's good for heart and brain - fruits, vege, fish (DUHHHHHHHHHH).
7. Think young - people who perceive themselves as old are more likely to display signs of being old.

Source : The Star, 4 Feb. 2009.

Bits on Money

Nowadays, if we switch on the radio and listen to the business news, or read the business news section of the paper, the economic outlook is always gloomy - either the Dow kept on plummeting, companies closing down factories and reducing workforce, or bank seeking rescue packages from the government. The effects so far has been worldwide and some have hit our shores. What I couldn't stand is our media focus on politics and acting as if we are protected from the obvious oncoming of world economic recession. Even Che Det has commented on this before. Maybe what's being parroted in the newspaper and TV3 is not actually what's there in the nation's balance sheet.

Due to this overplay on politics and underplay of economic situation, the government has started its wise move to "revive" the economy. Let's look at the government's instruction for EPF to get the depositors reduce their monthly deduction from mandatory 11% to just 9% beginning Jan. 2009. If you wish to maintain at 11%, you have to submit a form to the EPF. The results shown that only 30% wish to maintain at 11%, with majority located in Johor and Selangor. The remaining 70% happily wish to have more disposable income every month. Don't they realize the truth?

The pretext: More money circulating in the market -> more spending -> help retailers gain more profit.
Ultimate result - more tax to the government paid by retailers.
The actual: More money to be spent by workers -> increase income eligible to be taxed at personal level.
Ultimate result - more tax to the government paid by workers.
Isn't this government smart or what? But then again, to borrow wisdom words from Aziz CFP - "suckers are born everyday".

For those who opt for 2% increase in monthly disposable income, very doubtful that the amount will go to savings. Where it'll go? To places such as this ad I got this morning:



Very tempting indeed. Once you bring a credit card, that's it. If I go to this kinds of sales, easily I'll spend hundreds, on the ground that such happenings rarely occur in your town. Sometimes I think thank God I don't live in KL. Levi's warehouse sales, Louis Vuitton clearance sales, and the likes can really drive me crazy. Wisest move - don't ever think of the dates.

Bottomline - Manage your money, or risk being end up as suckers.

Devil's Advocacy

What you should do if you are stuck in a meeting with people who have seniority over you but do not know where they are heading to? How best to interfere and being the devil's advocate while at the same time try to remain calm and diplomatic (not to be seen as "kureng ajaran"?).

Sometimes I think that I may be a bit too rough in advocating ideas, especially while going the opposite way (trying to "rock the boat" in other corporate term). Frankly, being put in a position while majority of the people at that stage are above my age, has its own set of advantages and disadvantages. But most miserable is when all of the meeting attendees who are supposed to have eaten more salts than me and of higher ranking reach a consensus while they themselves are not clear of what is it that they have agreed on. Sometimes I can be seen as being an aggressive person trying to prove a point (while others try to go with the flow and shut up and leave the fate to God Almighty to decide).

I have a trait of which can be both good and bad. When I do something, I will do it seriously. This is in tandem with a hadith which propogates that a good Muslim is when he/she does something, he/she will do it wholeheartedly to produce the best results. For this, I will have to make sure that the things I pursue will worth something. If it happens that the something is something which is not clear to the originator, I could not stand to be in the committee to support such cause. It is a torture for me to be in something which I cannot see what's the end result is. Especially when I can't control the outcome. I wonder how people can get accustomed to be part of something which has no clear direction, and just be there for the sake of being there.

I am just not one of them. Maybe I should opt out of this "initiative". If you can't beat them, join them - simply doesn't work for me.