The Fictitious Payung Emas

I was entrusted to guide a department to produce a reference book, for their use and for the future generations to refer. Despite their busy schedule, they have no choice but to think and draft this book. The big challenge is of course the thinking part. Thinking is such a tiresome activity mind you, that’s why not many people want to think nowadays. Nevertheless, after a few months they completed the first draft and I had to sit down with the Head to review. Since the first sitting over at their place, the Manager Mr. A has always been asking me to bring some goodies (as upah) to inspire and motivate his people and as a form of reward. Since I don’t subscribe to the idea of “produce this then you get this”, I have been ignoring his requests. Until for the 3rd time, I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him that if he wants me to treat the whole department, then please pray for my expeditious promotion (jokingly). He replied cynically, “Which promotion you want? If you become the 1st wife is also considered as promotion. I can pray that one for you”.

I was speechless.

I got a new neighbor in the office. Mr. C has almost reached retirement age, and he usually accentuates the point that he’s going to retire soon if we request him to do some improvement measures. That’s for the next person to do it, not him. I wonder what people nearing retirement age must be thinking at the moment, the long hours, the free time, the gardening, the traveling, etc. But yesterday was a shocker. Mr. C came over to my cubicle and expressed his need for a new wife to take care of him after retirement. As if my ignorance for his conversation topic yesterday was not enough, this morning he repeated that idiotic topic again. Yesterday I smiled and kept quiet, so he just passed. But today I couldn’t take it any longer. That’s it MAN!!! I told him off – “What’s your current wife doing? Isn’t she capable enough to take care of you? Or is it all these while you don’t take care of her, so she doesn’t want to take care of you?” Actually, those were my kind words. My superior words would have been – “What the h*** is wrong with you? Don’t you guys have nothing else to think? It’s time to get closer to God and menegakkan syiar Islam. Bukan menegakkan mende tu jer.” Huh, since this blog is rate “U”, I shall observe my writings.

What on earth is wrong with these people???

I did a minor research on the net. There’s no such thing as the golden umbrella aka “payung emas”. Sometimes, these idiots want to impress the women, so they use phrases like below to entice their female friends or wife to let them do what they think they can do.

“Bagus wife si anu tu, benarkan hubby dia kahwin lagik satu. Nanti dapat payung emas kat akhirat”.

“Eh, baik ko jgn menentang, nanti dapat payung emas kat akhirat, ko tak nak ke?”

There is no hadith sahih about payung emas. It’s called an Israeliyat, which is a very very weak source and shouldn’t be relied upon. Think about it ok.

Golden Umbrella.

Umbrella - at Padang Mahsyar, the sun will be a palm ahead of your head. You think the umbrella can protect you? The moment you get it, it’ll be already melted. Can you imagine? Agree with me?

Golden – what’s the use of having gold in akhirat world? Can you send it to pawn shop, get the money and then enjoy?? Can you trade it to get what you wish for? Dah takde maknanya. Then why gold? Agree with me?

The joker who created the fictitious hadith should be condemned. Those who like to repeat the words should be castrated and sent off to Galapagos, marry all the female giant lizards.

And for those men who say Quran encourage polygamous marriages, you’re damn wrong!! Allah permits, but never encourages. He permits because He knows that sometimes the wives cannot produce, fall ill, become mad women (mana tak giler kalau byk spesis mcm nih), and the sorts. Rasulullah married Khadijah and she was his only wife for 25 years. Subsequently Rasullullah married a few others whom were widowed, and he did it to protect Islam and with reasons connected to syiar Islam. He has basis.

Men in the modern world – what is their basis? Dare to call it menegakkan sunnah nabi? Tegakkan apa sebenarnya?

Huhu, such an emotional day. Mr. A and Mr. C are going to suffer after this. I will make them suffer.